Moving forward is a change that brings up much fear for many.
It is connected to many different and common fears that most aren’t aware of.
Moving forward is about letting go. It is about creating change and disrupting your “comfortable” space.
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It is about movement and newness. It is about placing yourself in unknown territory. And it is about Faith and Trust.
Moving forward isn’t always so easy for some. They prefer to stay stuck, frustrated and angry.
But it doesn’t have to be this hard. For if you know the reasons why you stay stuck, then moving forward will inspire you. It will give you hope and it will allow you the courage to take a few steps and then a few more.
Here are some of the more common fears of why people don’t move forward.
Abandonment
Staying where you are even if you aren’t happy will ensure that you are “loved.”
If you are compromising yourself and your life to stay where you are, even if you aren’t happy, then that is not love at all. You stay put and do not move forward for fear that others will no longer love you.
For if you stay with them, they will be with you, not judge you and not leave you.
That is not love. That is control. And that is fear.
In reality, if you were to move forward – for e.g. there was a great career opportunity or something you were passionate about pursuing in life, the ones you are so desperately hanging onto to love you, would not leave you behind.
Sure they may feel uncomfortable at first, because this would bring up all their own issues of abandonment, but they would eventually accept what you wanted. And if they didn’t accept what you wanted, this again would be their own issue, and not yours.
If you did have those that you wanted to hang onto, leave you because you moved forward. Then that is the very thing you need, even if you don’t understand it when it happens. For you cannot stay stuck for others. You cannot force anyone to love you. That is not love at all. Just fear.
So do not be afraid of following your heart. You cannot ever be abandoned if you truly love who you are and follow your own journey.
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Just do it! The world will adjust.
Judgement
Here is a fear that can cripple you.
A simple little emotion like judgement can stop you in your tracks.
Many are empty in their own lives and seek love from outside of themselves. And if others see them in a different way than what they think they are seen as, this can cause much insecurity to rise up.
Judgement is the opposite of approval. Yet approval is not love. It is the begging emotion of love.
Why do you need anyone to approve of you at all?
As long as you know who you are and you love yourself because you are you, that is all that you will ever need.
Yet you want to be accepted and “loved.”
If someone judges us, they disapprove. And if they disapprove it means that they might stop loving us. And if they stop loving us, then they may abandon us because we will no longer fit into the boxed in notion of who they want us to be.
So all in all, by not moving for fear of being judged, we remain in the closed off box of conformity that others who are too afraid to move, want us to be in.
For they don’t want to be abandoned either. So by bouncing off each other’s fears, no body moves. No body grows. No body loves truly and deeply from a space of unconditional love.
Loving from a space of no condition is to love without expectation. To allow someone to be who they need to be. And to love them anyway.
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You cannot love someone only if they become this or that or do this or that. That is placing a condition upon them.
So just love. Just allow. Just be.
Fear of Success
Fear of Success is a common untapped fear that not many people realise they stay stuck in.
Why are people afraid of success?
What is Success anyway?
Success is anything to anyone. It can be whatever you want it to be.
If you just want to be happy and at peace, that is your success.
If you want to make lots of money and be in a fulfilling career, that is your success.
If you want to be connected to your truth, that is your success.
If you want to be in a loving, respectful relationship, that is your success.
Success is whatever it is that makes you happy. There is no need to compare yourself with anyone else. You make your own success.
Yet why do many keep themselves stuck and fear it. It is a good thing, right?
Success is connected to many fears.
If you don’t have success, you are not loved, deserving, worthy, good enough etc.
Many people keep these negative beliefs about themselves as the truth.
That is not the truth. Because you deserve it all!
By following success – whatever that means for you, you may come across the fears that you harbour.
If you are successful and others don’t approve, then you may be judged. Which equals to not being loved.
If you are successful, others may feel abandoned and may go looking for love elsewhere because you don’t have time for them anymore and have changed too much for them.
If you are successful, you may feel uncomfortable and undeserving, and “oh my what will people say about you?”…. judgement!
Who cares what others will say!
They may see you as the shining light and example that you are. You may inspire them to get out of their own rut of feeling stuck and create some change within themselves.
You may be the instigator to their own change and this will allow them to find the courage for themselves.
Whatever happens in life…do not stop moving or changing for others!
This is your life!
You create whatever you want to create.
Others will always whinge and carry on. Because they are unhappy in their own lives!
Be the inspiration. Firstly for yourself. Then for others.
You cannot afford to live your life being stuck and not moving.
For the reality is that life moves and changes anyway.
And if you submit to the flow of life and move with it, it will be easier for you to navigate your life with it.
So change. Grow. Move!
F.L.Y!
F – First
L – Love
Y – Yourself
F.L.Y!