Self Love is often misunderstood. It is not about looking in the mirror and telling yourself that you love you.
Self Love reflects all of our choices in life. It is who we are, who we become, how we treat ourselves and let others treat us, it is in our journey and experiences in life.
When you practice Self Love, it is truly life changing.
Some of the misconceptions of Self Love, is what it actually is.
If you keep getting the same experiences in life where you are taken advantage of, disrespected, feel alone or fear your journey in life you are not practicing Self Love.
Do you fear being alone? Do you feel unloved? Are you afraid of being abandoned?
If you have a strong connection to yourself and deeply love yourself, those issues will be minimal in your life.
If you fear being alone in life, it is because you expect others to take away your pain. You expect others to love you. You expect others to live your life for you in some sense. It is not about what other people can do for you. It is about what you can do for yourself!
If you do not love yourself enough, then how can you expect someone else to love you?
Take for example that you lack Self Love. You do find that special someone to share your life. And you feel “loved”. But that love is superficial. Bear with me, there is a point! Yes that partner is genuine in loving you.
Life goes on, and no matter what this partner does for you, you still feel unloved. This partner may have other interests – family, career, sport etc. They love you. Yet you feel unloved. You feel abandoned because their attention is not on you one hundred percent.
You start to become afraid that they will leave you, and all of your abandonment issues begin to rise to the surface. You become needy. You want this partner to show you they love you even more. They are not giving enough. And soon the cracks begin to appear in the relationship.
This is one of the ways that lack of Self Love appears.
Your partner does love you. But your insecurities and fears are just highlighting to you that you are not loved. Because even if their attention was towards you completely, you would still feel that void.
And your partner in their experience would also have Self Love issues. They might feel that they need that love returned. Or they may feel suffocated because you are becoming needy.
If you were to fill your own love tank, then there would be no need to have someone else fill that void.
Each person has their own challenges in life. Each person is seeking love.
And many are seeking love outside of themselves. That is where the problem lies. The problem lies in that they are not fulfilling it within themselves.
Self Love and lack of, shows up in every area of your life. Finances, health, purpose in life, career etc.
How do you create Self Love in your life?
Identify what your experiences are. What fears do you have? How do you react?
It is your responsibility to create your own Self Love. Nurture yourself. Understand that everyone has their own journey in life, and needs to fulfil their own dreams. They all need space. They all need love. Everyone needs love.
It is within each of us. There is no need to look for it outside of yourself. If you are looking for it outside of yourself to another person, substance (food, alcohol, drugs, sex etc) or experience, then you are just denying that you lack it.
Self Love is a confidence that grows over time and experience. It is something to be nurtured and cherished.
Put yourself first.
Say yes where it honours you and no where it does not.
Treat yourself the way you want to be treated.
Follow your own dreams instead of someone else’s.
Your opinion about yourself counts, and the ones from others that are not positive do not count. Although in not being positive, they are also for you to learn from, so take that on board.
You are the leader of your life. You create what you want. Others create you, when you allow them to control you. And then you feel frustrated because it is not what you want.
Ask yourself, where you are in life…is this what you want? Does it make you happy? If it is, fantastic! Keep going!
If not, it is never too late to change, and steer your life in a more loving direction.
Self Love is not difficult to acquire. Once you re-connect to it, you will be a changed person. Confident. Strong. Trusting of yourself and the world.
So find it again. Be love. Be you. Follow your dreams!