I look at everything in my life as a sign. Sometimes I can miss them, as when life happens, stresses etc, you can easily just not see what is right there in front of you. So these signs come again, in a different way, bigger, bolder, more painful etc. They are always there. Do we always see them?
Being in the wrong place at the wrong time is never the wrong place.
It is the right place. Because by being there you are being given a gift of sight. A lesson. A chance for you to create positive change and get rid of the old.
So my experience in the recent months, was that I was forcing a square peg in a round hole (not literally of course!), but by telling myself that I needed to be somewhere, which I knew I didn’t belong. Because I had to be there.
The universe had other plans of course. And I got whisked out of there. I was in an angry environment and always being attacked for no reason, but I see now that I was just receiving the reflections from within. I was attacking myself. Beating myself up for not being where I should be. Not asking for more than I deserved. I was being pushed down. I felt like I was in the sea and someone was pushing my head down, so that I couldn’t come to the surface.
That’s what it felt like. Like I was being sabotaged. But infact I was sabotaging myself by accepting less. And now that I think about it, I have felt that many times, the head being pushed under the sea. Guess I needed to learn the hard way!
So out I was, back to floating, only to find myself in another situation was seemed like a godsend. Just what I needed. Yet as time went on, here I was being criticised and judged and being made to conform to what others wanted. I felt great at first coming into this environment because it felt like I was being looked after and nurtured. But as time went on, I realised that I couldn’t be myself. I was literally ending up at the wrong place, one time actually driving all the way in the wrong direction, knocking on someone’s door and it being in the completely wrong direction, wrong house! If that isn’t a sign, I don’t know what is!
And still more signs came to make me “get it!” One of my biggest patterns to break in life has been “waiting” for others to accept me. Giving people more chances than they deserved. In various scenarios. For e.g. having situations be convenient for others. I would step back and give them the space to decide when they were ready to have me in their space or when they had time for me. I wouldn’t walk away.
Meanwhile, I felt like I was a fizzy bottle with a cork on. I could feel it all bubbling away, and I felt that the cork needed to pop. And that when it did, things would flow.
Well it certainly popped recently!
My insight being that, No! I will not wait for when it is convenient for others. I will take action on my life now, and say goodbye to what does not serve me.
Yes, I am considerate of the needs of others, but I shouldn’t compromise myself for what they want, when they are just speaking out of fear.
Here is what I learnt:
- I need to go for what I want now! Not for when others are ready. They will catch up to you if they are meant to;
- I am the one keeping the cork on and keeping myself under water;
- I am the one saying NO to myself;
- I am teaching the universe that I will accept less, and that it’s ok to be less;
- I am putting out the vibration that I can’t have all that I want;
- I am living in the fear that others teach me and the ones that I accept and teach myself;
We all have our fears. We are human.
But there comes a time when we need to step away from what does not serve us.
In a bad relationship? Why are you still there? How is it serving you? Are you learning, or just creating the same situation over again?
In a job you hate? Are you living out your purpose?
In an environment that does not nurture you? Who is it helping?
I learned so many lessons here in the last few months.
I realised that I was always moving towards what I wanted. Deep down I have dreams that need to be fulfilled. Yet I felt like it wasn’t happening or that I didn’t have the motivation.
So the universe had other ideas.
Squash me into a bottle, put the cork on tight, let me simmer and when I was ready…POP!
If you have ever felt like things are getting worse and worse instead of better…there is a reason for it.
If you aren’t freely making the changes, you are being squashed into a corner on purpose. You are being squeezed, challenged, tormented, pulled in many different directions, etc.
You are being built up to have a snap point. A snap point is the point of no return. You get to a point, where if you don’t make changes you will explode. POP!
Before you get to this point, you may feel like you are plummeting into despair. You may have to get to the lowest points of your life before you have this snap point where something has to change.
Let go, create a new pathway, and see yourself more clearly.
You are DIVINE!
When the time is right, you will see what you need to see. Every “bad” situation is another opportunity for you to have more pressure put on you. The pressure needs to build. For if you are someone who learns the hard way, then you need something drastic. The more resistance you create, the louder the pop when it happens.
So if you feel that you aren’t getting anywhere, let it all build up. For when it pops, you will have the open space for clarity, for new opportunities, for a new doorway and you will see that you are truly worth it. You can have more. You will have more.
But first you need to just….POP!