When we look outside of ourselves for self love, quite often that is our emptiness speaking to us, whether we realise it or not. To feel abandoned, unsupported, in lack, unmotivated, un-nurtured etc…signs of lack of self love.

So how do we turn this around, and implement within ourselves, what we are strongly seeking outward? This is a common theme among much of humanity. We can do many things for ourselves that make us feel good, and make us feel happy…in the moment! Yet this is a long term commitment to yourself. Giving yourself and allowing yourself to receive self love are two different things.

In giving self love, that is easy enough. A holiday, new clothes, a treat…yet how you feel when you give, determines if you are allowing yourself to receive. For if you make excuses that you probably shouldn’t have given yourself that gift, because it was out of your budget or a mistake, then you are not allowing yourself to receive the self love. You are allowing your judgement to kick in, and judgement is an emotion that sits under the banner of fear.

Why are you so afraid of offering yourself love? Yet you seek it outward to others, who are also seeking love. And quite often, you are in such pain, that to receive a morsel of “love” you choose to stay in pain. And so the cycle continues. All of humanity is looking for love, yet if we are not fulfilled within ourselves, how can we offer all that is needed to another, outside of ourselves?

Sure there are many times when we offer love to others, yet if we don’t keep filling our own selves with love, then our own self will run out, to the point where we start getting angry, frustrated, feeling unsupported, abandoned and so on. All our fears will start to rise to the surface. And that’s a good thing too. Because you can see what it is you still need to work on. What was buried below the surface.

Yet if you look at the main picture, if you keep filling yourself with self love, it conquers fear. It releases fear. The moment you don’t nurture yourself with self love, then all your issues come up to the surface.

So we can offer others love and support, yet we need to start within first. Just like when you take a flight, and the attendant shows you the oxygen procedures in case of a crash…you must feed yourself the oxygen first! For if you are not active and capable, then you are no use to others if you have passed out.

Of course even if you don’t have yourself completely filled up with self love, you can still help others. No one person can ever fill themselves up completely with self love in a lifetime. It’s just something that needs to keep being replenished. The point is, that you come first. You must see how different your life can be by allowing yourself to receive. By continuously giving to yourself first, and noticing what thoughts and emotions come up for you. For if you are still making excuses or judgements about giving to yourself, then you need to work on the self love giving and receiving practice.

Start today, by allowing yourself to feel and see how good your life is. No matter what your circumstances are, no matter what your past is, no matter what you’re going through. There is something positive to take from it. Something to be grateful for. For if you dig through the mud, you will always find your pot of gold. No matter how small. For the key to giving yourself love and allowing yourself to receive, is about growing your pot of gold. For your heart is the gold. It has always been within you. So stop looking for it outside of yourself. You will only find momentary satisfaction. The biggest satisfaction is what you can do for yourself and how you can make yourself feel.

For you are the diamond in the rough…which perhaps needs a little shine now and then.

So rise up! Offer yourself love! And most importantly, let yourself receive it!