It gives you an adrenalin kick and leaves you wanting for more.
That next fix. That drip feeding that leaves you satisfied until the next hit that you need.
Why does this fear have so much power over you and where does it come from?
How do you let go of this fear and what can you do so that you can look within and detox yourself of your addictive drug?
Neediness comes from lack. It comes from a space of not having enough, not being enough and feeling empty and insecure.
When you are needy, you are afraid of being abandoned. You are afraid of not being heard or seen or acknowledged.
To be needy is to be unloved from a deep space within you.
And no matter what another offers you – whether it be affection, time, attention or gifts, unless you can draw from your own love from within you, you will always want more – from outside of you.
It is like a drug. With each hit that you get, you are only satisfied until it wears off. Then you want more. And sometimes you will do anything to get that fix that will satisfy you. Until it wears off…and then you go round again!
When you feel needy, you are afraid to look within. You don’t believe that what you have within you is love. You do not draw from your own love inside of you that you have. You cannot access because it is too covered with your own fears.
When you feel needy, you will do whatever it takes to feel loved.
And this happens in many different ways. Some ways are listed below:
- You live from your Ego space. The very loud part of you that always needs the attention. Needs to be seen and heard. Needs others to know they are there in case they miss out on their fix. The one who makes it all about themselves. “It’s all about ME!”
- You play out your victim card and create incessant dramas. You become the Drama Queen or King. This is the way you get your fix. By having tantrums, by needing that attention on you. By begging for that love and nurturing which isn’t love at all, just another quick fix. You carry on like a child who isn’t getting the attention they want because they feel ignored or unloved and stamp your foot, create unnecessary dramas and pain just so that others will spend time with you and give you the attention that will feed you until the next drama.
- You withdraw. Energetically you crawl right into your shell and do your best to pull people into your shell. You are safe here and you need to feel safe with someone else in there too, feeding you what you think is love.
- You stop others from following their own journey and pull them down into your pit of despair, your fears and negativity. This is your fear speaking and your fear is telling you that unless you hold someone captive, then you will be left behind and abandoned. And you can’t have that, because if you don’t keep someone that you are feeding off close to you, then you will be all alone and unloved. So you force them to stay. But on the other person’s end, they cannot be forced to stay. Yet whatever fears they themselves hold is what is holding them there too…
- You stop yourself from following your own journey, and allow others to control you. Because at least this way…someone cares enough to keep you close. And then it becomes toxic…
- You continually seek attention. You need to be acknowledged. You need to be praised. And you need that fix from somewhere.
That fix that you are so craving is not real love at all. Just something that is keeping you fed.
That drip feeding that you are drawing upon is not real nourishment, just a false sense of safety.
That attention that you seek is not real at all. It is just drama and chaos that you create so that you are noticed and you won’t feel abandoned.
Neediness is like a drug. It is addictive. It is not the solution but your problem.
For when you pull back and stop creating that need, you will become vulnerable, isolated and unprotected.
This is where you need to be. Out in the open to navigate your way through life. Where you can open your heart and let people in and your love out.
You need to begin to trust yourself that you do indeed have all that you need within you to live a thriving life – not in a survival mode which is what neediness brings you. That next fix.
When you go cold turkey, you will indeed feel uncomfortable, unsupported and exposed.
But this is where you will then begin to draw upon your own love from within, instead of from others around you and other things.
Neediness is not just about getting your fix from other people. It is also about getting your fix from other things.
Do you have certain things you do that make you feel loved and wanted and full?
Whether it is food, toxic relationships, sex, negative patterns, drama, being ego centred or just withdrawn – you will know what it is for you.
Because when you get it you will feel just fine right after you felt insecure and unloved.
When you feel insecure and unloved and are about to reach for that fix that makes things “ok”, before you do…stop!
See your pattern. Why are you doing it? How long is it going to last? How will it make you feel?
Being needy is very addictive. It can drive you crazy because when you aren’t getting your fix you will make the poorest of choices. You will do anything to get that thing that makes you feel better.
Just like a drug addict, when they are in need of a fix, some can do the unthinkable and go out of their way to get that fix they need because their previous fix has run out or is about to.
Love is just the same. Is it real love or just another fix that you need?
The real love that you want is right inside of you.
It is not love that you need. Because a need is a fix. It is a love that you have.
When you don’t need anything, it means that you are fulfilled.
So before you reach for that fix that drip feeds you, look within and find that true love that you have. You have as much as you will ever need.
And it will be a true long lasting love. Forever. Because your Soul lives on. And it lives on Love!