Pain is not fun. And if you choose not to learn from it, it can really hurt. It can drag on and you may feel like you are in a never-ending cesspool of quick sand. That your life is falling apart, that you have no support, that your outlook on life is negative, that things will never get better and so on…

The victim mentality.

Because being a victim of your life’s tragedies can sometimes be “easier” then getting up, dusting yourself off and taking the bull by the horns. Seeing what needs to be seen. Making a different choice. Creating a different path.

We have all been here. Some are still here. Others have risen above it. And some still remain in pain no matter what happens.

Where are you placed now?

But pain is necessary. It is your guidance system. It is what heals you from the inside out. It is what teaches you. 

Pain is about perspective. If you let it beat you down, it will. And it does.

So what is your choice?

There’s a saying that goes like this, “When you feel like your life is falling apart, it is actually falling together.”

I find this incredibly true. Although at the time, it feels terrible. It feels like nothing is going right, that no one supports you, that everything is just crumbling and you cannot hold onto it.

But this is a good thing.

As when your life “falls apart” that is the stale part of you crumbling. Those are the onion layers peeling away. The snake shedding its skin. The butterfly breaking out of its cocoon and so on.

When your life falls apart, it means that you have grown so much that you no longer need that old part of you. 

You have lived in a box all of your life. Now due to the experiences you have had in your life, good and bad, you are too big for that box. This box cannot hold you. You cannot fit anymore. So this box must break down and fall apart, so that you can find a bigger box to live in, until that begins to break down.

That is the cycle of growth. You change, you shed, you grow.

Pain is necessary. That is how you learn about who you are. That is how you learn about what your values are. That is how you learn about what love truly is. That love is inside of you, you have always possessed love. Nobody is supposed to give it to you. It is to be shared, but each of us has more than plenty within us to begin with.

Yet the layers of pain cover all of that up so that we struggle. And through that struggle we experience pain. And it is up to us to break out of that mould and emerge into a fresher, newer person.

So rise up! Feel the pain. It cannot hurt you unless you allow it to. Do not be a victim to life. Do not be bullied into submission. Do not stay down because “it’s too hard!” It’s not too hard. You are making it hard.

Life is throwing you a gift. Pain is a gift! If you see it in this way, then it will always help you to move through your fears in a most graceful way. 

Otherwise you can always point the finger at others, and blame the world for where you are in life and what is being done to you.

If that is “easier” for you, then do it. Just know that nothing will change. You will just sink further into quick sand. The negative energy you project will consume you. You will stay down. That is…until you decide to rise.


Learn from your pain. Let it be your guide. Let it guide you back to love. Pain is created for learning, for growth, for truth. Pain is not who you are. It is what you are experiencing. So experience it. Thank it. Then move forward.

This is your life. So make the most of it. You steer the ship, the ship does not steer you.


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