When you play small, who is it really serving?

When you limit yourself or be something you are not, who are you making happy?

Unfortunately this is a common theme among humanity.

You play and splash about in the small pond because you think that you will drown in the big pond.

You dumb yourself down so that others will be happy. So that others will follow you. So that others will love you.

But what part of you do they really love? The limiting part of you?

Or the magnificent part? A part you haven’t even touched upon yet?

Many of you have not even touched upon your true magnificence. You have been too busy playing in the small pond.

You stay in unfulfilling relationships of all kinds, because you are too afraid of being left behind. What if they don’t love me anymore, if I choose to follow my dreams? Will I be supported? Is there anyone else out there if I move on?

You stay in boring and limiting jobs because you don’t feel worthy to ask for a better income or higher position or think that it is impossible to earn a living doing what you love. And you also worry about what others will think if you pursue this path. All sorts of fears enter your mind. What will people think? Will I succeed? Can I do this?

You become who others want you to be to make them happy.

And over time you become frustrated with who you became and you blame others for it. And get angry. Although who was it that agreed to become someone they were not in the first place?

You enclose yourself in a box over time. Because over time you believe the lies that you are fed. That you have to stay in this box of “security”. Get a “good” job, be in a stable relationship (even if it doesn’t feel right), work hard, and play small.

If you find a relationship that is your equal (and this is not just limited to a partner), where you are honest with each other, support, trust and honour each other’s choices, then that is a bonus. You will grow.

If you find yourself in toxic relationships, then you will also grow. If you choose to. Or you can choose to stay stuck. For in these types of relationships, there comes a time where you feel uncomfortable. You feel like you are suffocating in your box. You feel you want more. That it is not right. You are growing and want out.

Now with toxic relationships, it is not just about a partner. It is also family, friendships and co-workers. It is not just about running away or ending it. It is about changing who you are with them. Changing your reactions to what happens or what is said. It is about changing your emotions. Seeing yourself differently. Honouring and respecting yourself. Saying no where you need to say no. Once you change the relationship changes. Sure people may still be the same, but how you react will make the difference to how you feel in the relationship. And if you want to walk away, then you will.

Playing small does not serve you. You were not born to play small. You were born to be magnificent. And you are.

When you play small and censor yourself to make others comfortable, most times they will still not be happy. Because they are in a state of control. They want to control you to be who they want you to be, because they are afraid that if you grow too much you will leave them. So you stay put and stuck. You are not happy. They are not happy. No body wins.

That is their fear you are buying into. And also yours. Your fear that if you do grow and change that they will leave. They will judge. And there shows up your insecurity.

So if you decide to break away from that belief that you need to make them happy, and do what you do, at least you are moving toward what makes you happy.

And you are also assisting in their growth and becoming the catalyst for them to change. Yes they will resist and their fear will rise, but that is not your problem.

Your only concern here is to be your true self. Do not play small to suit the needs of others. They will want to keep you down to their level because of their fears.

When you change and ask for more, more will come.

When you stay stuck and limit yourself, you enclose yourself in a box of fear and limitation.

Play BIG! Play your own game. Live your own life.

Others will get over it. They are making their choice to play the game they want. That is not your concern.

Do not ever let anyone tell you that you can’t. You CAN!

And you will…if you have the courage.

Otherwise you will just stay in your small pond and never see what else is out there. And that is ok, if that is the choice that you are making. But when you feel frustrated with your life, do not blame others or the world. Take responsibility for your choices. And if you are ready to have another go at stepping out of your small pond to play big, the door is always open.

The choices you make reflect you. So choose wisely. Follow your heart. There is your first clue!